Inner Light Outer Peace Yoga Blog

Dew Yoga students contributed to a generous donation for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society by practicing Yoga Nidra each month for the last 4 months.

We have decided to choose another charitable cause for the next several months. The next Yoga Nidra “Relax for Charity” will be held Friday, November 21, 6:00-6:45pm. See the Dew Yoga site for more details and information about the highly restorative practice of Yoga Nidra.

Keep reading to understand why this effort will be in memory of my dog friend, Bruno. These are words of my own personal experience and opinions, I share them with you because I personally hope we can evolve as more humane and responsible friends of animals.

This is Bruno.

Last Friday we had to say good bye to Bruno for his health was failing in ways that made it inhumane to extend his life with the marvels of modern medicine. Although he had 8 years on earth, he spent only a few of those in our home.

The story as we were told, is that he was purchased from a breeder and lived quite the pampered life in a mansion on Long Island. Even though he had the full time attention of a live in house keeper and the best medical care available, his human decided he could no longer take care of him and delivered him back to the breeder.

The breeder had two females plump with puppies and a barn full of another three or four fertile ‘commodities’. The larger the dog, the shorter the lifespan. Bruno, 6+ years old, weighing in at 130 pounds as handsome and gentle as could be, was past his prime as a stud and a ‘liability’ that would not be sustained long if not adopted.

I took the bait when my ex-husband told me there was a Bull Mastiff in need of a home. He baited me well, knowing that it was a breed of dog I had adored from afar since I was a kid. I put myself right onto the hook when I decided to bring the kids with me to meet Bruno.

I already had over 100 pounds of friendly but high maintenance German Shepherd-Rottweiler mix named Coco in my not so mansion like home. Coco was one of four of the last dogs at the old Stamford Humane Society over on Pepper Ridge Rd. before it closed for good. Fate and coincidence had brought me there one day to help the kids understand what happens to dogs and cats without homes. It happened to be the last day they were open to the public. The dogs were being shipped up to Westport which only had three kennels available. Coco came to us with a severe case of separation anxiety. She more aptly could have been called Shiva the Destroyer for her ability to transform an entire living room set into a sea of couch stuffing and wood in mere hours. My hands were already full of dog so my thought was to help find a home for Bruno even if it meant taking him in temporarily. That never works, I am not so good at non-attachment to be a ‘foster’ human and little did I know at the time that medical complications would quickly prevent Bruno from being very adoptable by anyone else.

The breeder thanked us for taking him home with us, helped load him into the back of my SUV, even offering to cover the cost of a neuter should we ‘human’s’ decide his family jewels were non-essential. She told us he had excellent blood lines and that even though he drank excessive amounts of water, all the medical tests available to his former human indicated there was nothing at all wrong with his health.

Coco and Bruno adjusted to one another and we adjusted to the lesser physical space, the incredibly noxious gas and constant trail of drool that a Bull Mastiff willingly shares. It was all tolerable because he was the gentlest giant I ever met. He just wanted to be loved. A year later a bladder tumor slowly claimed Coco’s life. Coco’s vet bills had piled up and meanwhile Bruno began to suffer all kinds of health concerns from prostate enlargement to ear infections to a staph skin infection that put him into a one room quarantine where no one was allowed to pet him. This was a dog that when one Animal Hospital told me my balance was too large for them to carry that they were only continuing treatment because they liked Bruno so much!

At that point, we reached out to the Breeder for some support. We told her that we were very happy to have adopted Bruno but did not anticipate being in for thousands at the Vet so suddenly and remembering her offer to cover the cost of neuter, wondered if she could help us out with his current expenses so that he could have a surgery the vet deemed essential to his survival. We were told that they would still cover neutering but not other medical procedures and recommended that if we could not afford it, to put him to sleep. That was not a response I expected or understood. It is the reason I now understand that purebred dogs can be considered commodities and liabilities.

We carried on, the best we could, changing animal hospitals starting again with a zero balance while we tried to pay down the bill at the first one. He recovered from one thing only to become sick with another. He lost more and more weight until he became skeletal in appearance and too weak to carry himself more than across a room. Still we tried to maintain his life. I cooked more rice, beef, pasta and eggs for Bruno than regular meals for the kids. Always the tests came back inconclusive and the poor dog continued to decline. Last week a tumor was found in his stomach and it was doubtful he had the strength to endure a surgical biopsy. He had not stood on his own all day and had refused to eat. The very caring staff at Broad River Animal Hospital had been carrying him around during his visit that day. Of all the animals I patiently nursed to the certain end of their life, euthanizing Bruno was without a doubt the most difficult decision to make.

He did not seem old enough, he did not seem done with life, he still had a sparkle even in sad eyes, he seemed more confused than defeated by his physical challenges. I told the vet and my family that it felt violent to me. Yet, there were no other options that were less violent. We needed to be humane and responsible humans. While I shared the life of many other pets from infancy to death and had just a short time with Bruno, it was the most painful pet transition from life to death I have experienced.

I got through the weekend with the waves of grief, taught my Yoga classes around the concepts of surrender and non-attachment. I tried to tell myself he was no longer suffering. I tried to cultivate purity and cleanliness in my suddenly slobber and urine free floors. I tried to appreciate the new found time I had previously spent cooking and cleaning up after Bruno. I tried to justify my power as a human to rid myself of guilt.

On Monday my daughter, Sage, and I went down to the Animal Shelter to donate Bruno’s leftover food, medications and supplies. It was an emotional challenge for both of us for sure yet it was impetus to understand a greater sense of responsibility we have as humans. The shelter is full to capacity. With all kennels full there were some dogs being loaded into a van for transit to I don’t know where. A beautiful yellow lab peered through his crate, a clearly pure bred beagle barked at us from the exterior dog pen and a german shepherd looked on with sad eyes. Laurie Hollywood, Director of Animal Control, told us due to financial strain people are dropping off their pets every day. What was most disturbing of all was that besides a few mixed breeds, kennel after kennel was occupied by seemingly pure bred pitt bull, the most challenging of dogs to place for adoption.

Elysa and I had already decided to offer our small bit of support to the shelter with monthly Yoga Nidra donations as we had done for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in past months. In light of Bruno’s departure from the planet we decided to donate those funds in his memory. It is a small offering but it is not enough.

Of course, I can ask that we all donate a few bucks or consider giving our old towels and blankets to the shelter. It is still not enough.

What is needed is a far greater sense of humanity and responsibility to our furry friends. What is needed is a shift in our perspective. What I am about to suggest may be controversial, it may come under fire from pet lovers but please remember I am also an animal lover. I am someone who adored the beautiful qualities of the pure bred bull mastiff. I also need to make a shift in my perspective.

Dogs and humans evolved, over time becoming best friend’s. On farms and in wilder landscapes they supported and served one another’s needs. However at some point in time, humans began to breed and inbreed dogs, gleaning out the qualities of each dog that best served their needs. It may sound critical, so be it. I am also critical of genetically engineering tomatoes and corn, I personally think it is wrong to interfere with nature in this way.

So, dogs continued to be bred and inbred and as a result there are animals like Bruno, gentle giants that protect without aggression, can endure extraordinary physical pain without much nervous system response, big hard heads and defensively broad chests. We have dogs that are characteristically good with children, dogs that love the water, dogs that will instinctively retrieve your duck if you shoot it while it soars freely across a wide open sky. We have dogs that fight better, run faster, smell things with precision and dogs that look so cute and small you can use them as accessories to the right outfit. This makes for lucrative business. I didn’t say ethical, I said lucrative.

I know someone who believes we have enslaved dogs and thinks they should be free to live, roam and die as nature intended. I believe we must be responsible and that means being responsible for the actions of our ancestors. We can not simply turn all dogs out into the world to survive on their own. Dogs as we know them in the USA and I am not speaking of wolves or another canines like fox and coyote, have been domesticated by us long ago. By altering their nature, we have altered their instincts as well as their needs.

We need to be more responsible and more conscious of how great is our power to change things.

I am not suggesting we do not adopt, love and share our lives with more animal friends. I ask you, I implore you, if you want to share your life with a dog to adopt an unwanted, kenneled shelter pet.

I challenge you to think things through when you make the life changing decision to bring a dog into your home. Here are some things we all might consider.

Why do we want to share our home with a dog?
Can we be responsible for it from infancy to it’s last breath?
Can we afford it now and if finances become tight or medical bills present themselves?
Do I want to support the business of breeding dogs?
The shelter is full. Is it crucial for me to have a pure bred dog? Why?
Will this animal be a service dog for the blind or hearing impaired? A volunteer cadaver dog? A protector of my livestock?
If I choose a pure bred dog that will work for and with me, can I work for and with it in mutuality?

Every dog you buy from a breeder perpetuates the business of dogs. Every dog we adore for it’s unique breed’s qualities contributes to making dogs a commodity and leaves another orphan in a cage at the shelter or worse. Dogs are not products to be bought, sold and sometimes returned like a defective toy. Dogs are living beings. How can we ‘own’ a life?

Ending Bruno’s life was the hardest decision I ever had to make with an animal friend. I owe him gratitude for leading me to see the truth about dog breeding. His life was not in vain and he leaves a greater gift behind if even one person reads this article and thinks twice before heading to the breeder to drop loads of cash on the yorkie with bloodlines connected to Joan River’s dog while there is a shelter full of beautiful and loving dogs that won’t cost you more than a meager adoption fee in the double digits.

But please, do not underestimate the greater emotional, physical and psychological responsibility of sharing your home with a dog.

Saying good bye is very hard. Being humane is our responsibility.